Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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