playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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