drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
