Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
