Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The air was thick with penises
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
