Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The power of my boobs compel you
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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