Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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