I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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