I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize