the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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