I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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