am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
