he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
