I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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