dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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