I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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