I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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