if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
