Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
