I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
