I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
