Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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