Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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