You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
