sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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