Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
