I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
