can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
