the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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