I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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