I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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