My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
