what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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