dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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