shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
