Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
