So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
