Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
