How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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