I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize