i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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