Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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