officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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