Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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