Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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