But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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