tell your sister to shave her snatch
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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