? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize