yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
