Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
