this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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