You just made me feel so damn special
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
