Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
