he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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