is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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