Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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