Screwed.edu
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
