hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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