you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
