Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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