Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
