yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
