READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
