i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
