At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
