god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
